Shut Up Ginger....Just Shut Up!!!

Can you use that picture a few more times Pud??? It is so fresh.

BongWaterBill wrote:


And still....so applicable.

I have suuuch a good one from last night, but Bdubz told me to shut-it, for some reason even tho I wasn't even talking to him!!

Bdubz for the record.. that is not a drunk story you stupid fuck,
also no one would believe me, mostly, so maybe another time

Your smileys make it look like you were sitting on the toilet. Just sayin'.

thats not necessarily a drunk story either buddy!

Fine. Connect sitting on the toilet with a drunk story, you say? I can do that.

Had my graduation party out at my grandfather's house. Big and roomy, outdoor pool, fun place to be. The night before the party we head over so that that morning we can get started setting up? My cousins from down south are already there, hanging out upstairs while the adults are on the first floor. These kids ranged from 12-17, weren't being checked on, and there was a full bar upstairs. They were all shitfaced (and my one cousin was being flirty and pressing her chest against mine, and that creeped me WAAAY the hell out). I wasn't gonna rat 'em out, but I didn't want to get busted and screw up my party, so I simply headed back downstairs. A few hours later, everybody's going to bed when the 17 year old throws up on her mom and her poodle. This causes two of the three others to toss cookies, and all of 'em are busted (the only one to hold their booze was the youngest, who later got a DUI as an adult).

So, the kids that were blitzed had all passed out, me and the youngest are bullshitting, when his older brother comes out of the room he was sleeping in, goes into the bathroom across from us, and sits on the toilet... lid still down, pants still on. His little brother asks, "What're you doing?" The answer? Why, the obvious "Taking a shit." That's the point when I gave up, went downstairs, and told my mom that there's no way in hell I'm sticking around up there while a drunk 13 year old shits all over himself. I slept downstairs, and the drinkers had to do all the cleaning and setting up for the party. I didn't have to lift a finger; I just went back to my house, got showered, relaxed, and showed up just before my guests.

Went down to O.S.U. for a birthday-keg party. The whole night my buddy was bragging about this 9 shot, shot glass that I slammed when I was in highschool and was still at the time amazed I didn't puke. Like a friggin magic trick the owner of the house pulls one out of his pocket ( aparently heard my buddy talking about it and ran into the house to get his) after a 20min debate on weather or not I would puke and them trying to debunk my buddies story from before, I finally man up and take the shot. All I remember is having absolutely no control of my legs and walking like a puppet down a sidewalk to a food stand. Trying to sober me up with food wasn't the best plan. While standing in lin at the chilli dog stand, I black out hit my head on the counter, pass out cold on the ground. I lose my cellphone and get drug off. I wake up in the morning in someones kitchen wearing and oven mit on my hand, and a spegetti basket on my head. No cell phone and totally confused as to where the hell I was. Shitty weekend

Most of my interesting /funny drunk stories come from college so here we go ;

This one time a friend and i were drinking a bar near our house and this one douche bag stopped my friend looked her up and down and was like "keep moving" so this ugly gangster wanna be was very loud in our bar and I was all "shut the fuck up no one thinks your funny" fast forward to 5-10 minutes and as he and his friends were leaving the annoying douche came up behind me and grabbed both my boobs with his hands and was like bye sweetheart; if I werent so drunk I would have been totally pissed, so anyways he was kicked out... end of story right thats what I thought...

we left a good 10 min after and this mofo happened to be standing in the middle of the street right infront of our house, so of course I was like watch this itll be funny and I walked behind him nonchalantly and snatched his stupid bandana right off his stupid head, well this reeally pissed him of and he was all "im going to call the cops!!"

and we were like do it fucker were on our own property. so he got in my friends face, keep in mind shes like 5 foot nothing and was all what are you gonna do, so she sprayed him with her pepper spray for like 2 secs and he goes oh is that all you got?? so she emptied the can in his face and thats when he called the cops...

so we ran into our house and peeked out of a window while he proceeded to call the police on himself... needless to say we watched him be all like "oh I molested these girls and got pepper sprayed but they stole my bandana wah wah wah"


the cops were like turn around sir and they cuffed him!! HA! they didn't even come to our door and he got taken away in a police car and at the very least spent the night in jail if not caught a case for being a pervert/nuisance to society.

Moral of the story dont ever call the cops on yourself when you are wrong it will not end well

So by gangsta, you mean a black dude, right? I mean, you coulda meant an Italian Mafiaso from the 40's, however I doubt he'd be wearing a bandana reppin his set.

So you, sir, are a racist. I think a black man, after 900 yrs of oppression, has afforded the right to grab a ginger's tits, don't you? I think that's in the Emancipation Proclomation...or Geneva Concention...or whatever.

This is another great one that happened to a friend of mine.

A buddy of mine went back to Jersey and got a bunch of grain alcohol. We used to live on this stuff in college, so it was a real treat to get our hands on some. Another one of our friends had heard about how we used to blow fireballs with the stuff, so he wanted to see us do it. So we go on the front porch, intoxicated of course, and each blow a few. The other friend wants to try, so he gets a huge mouthful of grain, ingites a lighter, and blows....straight up in the air. So the fire goes up, and straight down on his face. He jumps 5-6 stairs, face first into the bushes and starts throwing dirt in his face until te fire is out, like 2 seconds. As soon as he looks up and the initial shock wears off, me and the first guy mentioned actually keel over laughing for 5 minutes. Seeing our friend faceplant into bushes seriously made my next month.

12

I'd be too afraid to do that to a black dude ha!! he was an ugly white boy