I was drinking with some friends last night and we were talking about the days when our alcoholism was much more raging. We were talking about some of our gretest drunk stories.

One of my favorites is how in the course of a week, three of my friends ended up lighting themselves on fire from doing firehots or lighting grain alcohol on fire.

Drunk stories always make me laugh. What are some of yours?

I predict this thread providing much entertainment!

Took a trip to France....

One Halloween night a bunch of us went to "roll the yards" of a couple professors (I think you northerners call it TP'ing). Lots of weed and alcohol (some were hitting Ex.), etc. Started off really fun until the prof's hubby came out with a shotgun and shot at us. A couple buck shots hit me in the shoulder. We decided to take a drive (great idea right?), so I'm sitting on the tool box in the back of a truck and this church hay ride is driving down the road as well (tractor pulling a trailer with mostly kids...few adults). We'd pass them and throw tp at them, they'd throw hay at us. Fun, fun!!!!!!! Well, one of my friends accidentally hits one dude as we are passing, in the face. He gets pissed, jumps off the trailer and tries to jump in the back of the truck and take a swing at him. I kick him in the face and he falls underneath the trailer and it runs over him. The clutch went out in the truck so we had to get it towed back. We got in another dude's car and went for another ride. We stopped to take a piss on a back road and this dude walks up to the car accusing us of "rolling" his yard since we have TP and tons of beer in the car. He says he's calling the cops. My buddy punches him in the face and drops him. We head back to the fraternity house and pass a cop. He flips his lights on and turns around. We are in a 1996 Impala SS. Crazy fast. We take a few turns and out run him. hide the car. Make it to the house with no issues except my shoulder hurting from the buck shots. Coast is clear. All is well, right? Nope. Then one guy gets sick and gets alcohol poisoning. A trip to the ER...someone mentions my shoulder...now the cops are up there and all hell broke lose. TONS of trouble that night. Not a lot of fun!!

When I was 22-23 I was living in Lakewood in a typical after-college frat house with 4 of my friends. We were drinking on the porch that night, which for some reason didn't have a railing(I think one of my roommates destroyed it in a drunken rage a week before). So it's around midnight on Friday and I'm hammered out of my mind, which was generally the case. I lumber onto the porch and babble something to this girl about not sitting in the one chair so close to the edge of the porch. She gets up, and I stumble over and lunge into the chair, thus falling ass backwards into a bush, with the chair still stuck to my ass. I'm upside down in the bush, can't get out, and all my jackass friends are keeled over laughing. After what felt like 20 minutes(probably 45 seconds in reality), I manage to roll out of the bush bloody and in pain. I grab a beer, go inside, and sit in the recliner, and fall out of that as well, finally saying "fuck this, I'm going to bed." Good times, good times.

My very redneck friend wanted to go fishing (just an excuse to get on the water and drink beer).

He had a new/used boat he had just "fixed up". We start pre drinking and then go out to the Mississippi River. I'm kinda sketchy on this "fixer upper" so I told him to run it out for a few minutes and come back. If all goes well, I'll get in.

Needless to say, he goes out, the boat dies and the last I see is him, very very tiny, floating around the dogleg in the river....I had all the beer! haha

I had to call the rescue squad, game warden, etc. They got him a few miles down river/ he walks up the boa ramp, the EMT asks him if he wants a blanket or medical treatment. he says "Hell naw...gimme a damn beer".

I love rednecks.

Halloween!
that reminds me this one time, freshman year, so 18ish, I thought it would be a good idea to drink a bottle of liquor and go uptown, where there's like 20,000 people and SOMEHOW I was so wasted I got picked out of the crowd aaand arrested, well not arrested "held"
and so I came too in a jail cell (1st time, not the last ) and was like fuuuuuuuck, and it was only like 9 at night so I was one of the first to be there so throughout the next few hours more and more girls were put in with me and I swear to God to of the girls started making out and fingering each other and me and two other girls were sitting in the corner like EWW, at the time it was very bizarre, so we called for the guards and they were separated and the one girl cried and I laughed and then a couple hours later like 1am I somehow convinced them to release me to drunken freedom and they were like uhh you're still a little fucked up go home or else you will be arrested for real, so naturally I went back out and partied more and walked home the next day in my little red riding hood costume like wow what a weird night!

and my friend was all, "don't you know it's bad luck to wear the little red riding hood costume, everyone around here knows that"

and I was all, "well FUCK why didn't anyone tell me!?!?!"

Gingy wins.

this story happened to a freind of mine. When we in were in the Marines. We were in Yuma AZ sooting for air. One friday night we were drinking at Catfish Joes J.W. was hitting on this fat chick. She ended hooking up with another Marine. JW followed them into the scrub brush with a fillet knife he stole. Found them and decide he was going to slit the other marines throat. JW being so drunk didn't realize the knife was backwards, all he did was leave one real ugly scracth. Neddless to say he ended up in the Brig, and got kicked out of the Corp with a BCD.

Way to fuck up a thread.

My 21st birthday was on a Super Bowl Sunday, and I decided to drink a bottle of Glenlivet during the game- I did have help, but from one guy and he was from the UAE and was was no real help at all (because drinking is difficult if not banned there and he was therefore a fucking lightweight). Well, after the game and finding out all the bars around us are emptied we decide to harrass the rushing freshmen that some asshole made have study hall after the game (maybe during? I don't recall) in the library. In said library, I find an old Popular Mechanic about Sputnik and decide this is a good time to loudly decry that the US is losing the space race. Apparently, I was inconsolably loud about how terible Sputnik was for the valour of the United States; I suppose I should also mention that this took place in the year 2000. I was literally dragged out by some frat brothers, and according to the rushes the campus cops showed up a few minutes later.

Certainly not buckshot-level, but I've always smiled thinking about that evening.

Not near as violent and way funnier.

Well played sir.

Once at a friend's house party for some reason there was this tiara and cape there. I put both. As more alcohol was consumed I totally forgot either one was on. So later that night at one point a friend pulled a wad of money out of her pocket, I grabbed it and ran through the yard yelling "I got money biatch!". Eventually I then ran through the sprinkler we had set up.


Gotten kicked out of HOB for being so drunk. Apparently either the one worker found my phone and called a friend or my friend called my phone to find me (no I wasn't driving that night). The worker was like come get your friend or we're calling the cops to take her to jail. My friends proceeded to somehow lose me in a parking garage. Eventually on the drive home I apparently claimed I was going to puke so they stopped the car. I got out, laid down on the ground and told them to leave me alone cause I just wanted to pass out. Mind you it was the middle of winter and the ground I was laying on was the side of the freeway. lmao The next day I found the story funny even though my friends didn't think it was.

HAHA...I got money BIATCH!!!

reminds me of this one time at band camp...if band camp was a party. We were having a co-ed shindig and I hooked up with this girl. I guess I pulled a Deiter, because she left her panties behind and I put them on my head and wore them around as a badge of honor. I wore them all night. So long, that it became normal, I guess, and I forgot about it as everyone got used to it and quit commenting on it. We decided to make a late night Taco Bell run. So, yep...drive thru with panties on my head. Never noticed it until the chicks in Taco Bell started laughing. After I got my food, I threw them through the drive thru window and sped off.

It's a wonder I didn't end up on some registry somewhere.

This happened to a friend of mine, but it is up in my top 3 favorite drunk stories ever. Since there is vandalism involved, I'll leave out certain details.

About 5-6 years ago he's drinking in a Lakewood bar and is completely bombed. It's the end of the night, and everyone left to go home. He wanted one last drink so he sticks around and goes to the bathroom at about 1:55. He must have passed out around here, because he woke up some time later and it was pitch black. He has no clue were he is, so he's wondering around trying to find a light switch and comes across a door. He opens it and it is obviously for the store room. So, still completely in the dark he comes accross some bar napkins and makes "a little pillow and blanket" out of them. He passes out again and wakes up around 5:00 AM. By now he is sobering up and starts feeling around for light switches again. He finds another door which is locked, so he kicks it open and the alarm goes off, so he bolts up the stairs, out of the bar, and starts hopping through backyards. He's porbably about 20 houses away, and he hears sirens going to the bar. He gets away with no problem, and all is good.

Everytime I see this guy I always bring this up.

can this be the drunk/misc. drug use stories?