granted but you get hit by a bus on the way out of the office and never get to spend it

I wish I had another motorcycle

Granted, but you were also in the same accident as above, and wore no helmet but only a wifebeater and shorts. Your next meal is puree.

I wish it was football season already.

Granted, but the Pros are still locked out, and the colleges aren't playing so you're stuck watching highschool.

I wish i could go to a 4-10's workweek instead of 5 8's.

Granted, but the heels you now wear hookin' on the corner give you blisters.

I wish I had super powers

granted, but you only get to see all fat bald men naked as you wander the street

I wish I could hang out with Natalie Portman

Granted, but you're with her at the Holocaust museum, and she's looking up information on family members and is completely ignoring you.

I wish Cleveland weather would make up its mind for at least a week.

Granted, but now the weather is a consistent -5°C, the cars don't start, the electrical wires are falling, and you can't feel your fingers.

I wish the Browns would win a Super Bowl this decade...

granted, but it won't be till 2019 after many more painful losses

I wish Bdubz would come back as a republican next time

granted, but the 2 party system is finally realized as the sham that it is, and total anarchy ensues.


I wish politicians had to actually live with their decisions.

granted, but you have to be handcuffed to the ones you voted for.

I wish zombies were real.

Granted, but you are immune to the virus, and spend the rest of your life running from them, and they are smarter than usual so it's harder to get away.

I wish I were drunk right now

granted but you pick up a transexual and get fucked in the ass and die of aids


i wish for a wife who doesn't bitch about everything

Granted, but she's a Zombie (read: undead), and you can't collect life insurance because of the technicality and she follows you around forever (and madly in love, like the Tales of The Crypt episode: "Til Death")

I wish the Cleveland Cavaliers would win the NBA Championship (and railroad Miami while doing so) this next season.

Ghost of Radio wrote:


Granted, but after that LeBron gets traded to the Washington Wizards, and they start kicking our asses in the regular, and post season.

I wish my job was easier, but I got paid the same.

Granted but now you are a bus driver

I wish i was asain