"OK, so I have this idea, now stay with me on this one... You, me a pitching wedge, a rather endowed midget, a Snickers bar, 4 peanut M & M's, whipped cream, your mom, and the homeless chick we met outside, with a spatula and a branding iron", you in?

Excuse me I gotta take this call. Its my shrink.

You have to be quiet my mom is sleeping shhhh!

I totally think the waitress is checking me out... I'll be right back....

I always hear the camera adds on a few pounds but damn girl how camera are on you right now? Shit, i need some more jager shots. Waiter jager me and keep them coming....

Oh my god... That is your face...lol... I thought you walked in backwards with your pants off

You looked hotter in the pics you sent.

Your younger sister is hot!!

Sorry I'm late I had to get the stink of your mom off of me

if it wasn't for date rape

id

never

get


laaaaid;
sorry

H:SDLFJH:OIVYX:LVC:SOH:LXNVCSO

Oh you weren't you suppose to see that... now I have to change plans....

Can we make it a lunch date? You know how possesive baby daddys can be with jealously.

Do you mind if my mom tags along?

"it does not suck it self!"